When the Stars Don't Align

Recently, I had the opportunity to work with a group that had some very openly upset stakeholders. We were starting a meeting and part of the group seemed to be trying to stage a bit of a coup. The strange thing is, this isn't the first time I have come across such an occurrence.

Over the years, I have worked in organizations in a multitude of roles (either as a teacher, a school leader, or a consultant) where these things have come about. It is never great when folks feel the need to push back against the organization, particularly in an open forum. Still, it points to a root challenge (which I only believe I can speak to because I have been on both sides): communication. For whatever reason, people feel (whether factual or not) that their needs are not being met and, therefore need to get the attention of the people who they perceive can meet those needs.

It's crucial to address these concerns head-on, as they can distract from our primary goal of providing the best possible education for our children. All sorts of folks within organizations feel as though they are working without their needs being met, from time to time. It may be that board members are unhappy that the success they have banked on or shared with potential donors/friends isn't coming to fruition. It may be that some teachers/guides feel that the organization is not centered on the needs of children when making decisions. It could be that support staff feels they are being asked to go above and beyond the duties they willingly signed up for. In each case, it can be really scary to deal with, and you are left wondering how to get the situation under control. After all, it is tough to run a successful organization and meet its mission if there is infighting going on.

I am here to share an easy "Ah-ha!" and some learning that may challenge you. No matter your situation or what side of the fence you are on, you have one job: to center the child. To center the child, you must be ready to enter the conversation to increase communication with the other side so that both parties can meet their needs. This is your time to grow and learn about the other side's needs so that you can work toward solutions. Those cardinal conversations aren't often easy. They can be somewhat uncomfortable. However, it's a necessary part of the process. Here is another piece of info that's hard to digest: Growth and comfort do not coexist. Your work here is to step into the discomfort. I know, I know. Who wants to do that? Let's think about it. Who wants to do that? If you are doing this work in service of children and your goal is to ensure that children have the educational experience they deserve, then I hope it's you. We have no place to put our needs ahead of the child. Sometimes, we must meet our needs to do the same for the child. But that's the true purpose.

We owe it to children to make sure that adult issues do not get in the way of their success. Sometimes, those adult issues are challenging. That's real. And we also need to work through those issues to meet our needs to be our best for our children. In the image below, you see that all roles must work together and wrap ourselves around the child. I am sure we also notice that some roles need to wrap their arms around other roles. As we work together to protect the center, we must take care of those closer to the center as they have the most direct lift related to fulfilling the needs of children.

Having cardinal (or seemingly challenging) conversations can feel complicated. But, strangely enough, just like anything else, you practice to get better. When things get tough, remember that the way to the other side is through and that if you're going to grow (in life and this situation), you'll have to step into the discomfort.

I have been in this situation many times and am here to help with the tactics, practice, or coaching along the way. Stakeholders don't have to be scary. They're here for the same reasons we all are: because we want to do well by the children. Let me know how I can help you work with your people so you can focus on keeping those lovely young humans (the children) centered, just where they belong.

Warmly,

Hannah