Leading for Liberation

I originally wrote this for another social platform, but it got some good responses, so sharing here as well:

This is for all leaders, but Montessori leaders, in particular, please lean in. As a Montessorian, this has come up a lot in the years I have led schools. When I was in teaching roles at various schools, I worked with both strong leaders and weak ones. The strong ones inspired me to be my best self and encouraged me to keep growing. The weak ones had me nearly running out the door. We often see and understand the need to provide spaces for children where they have agency and freedom, and we support their drive for their greatest potential. We need to do the same for adults in the space. So, while this message can support any leader, Montessori spaces are near and dear to my heart, and I hope to help us help our spaces reach their highest potential as well. 

When we think about the ways that we want groups to work together, we often start to daydream about the possibilities of an idyllic situation where everyone is happy and people spend their time engaged in joyful and supportive practices. The reality is that it isn't really typical for groups to work together without some sort of dysfunction or times when emotional dysregulation is apparent. We want all the good things, and it can be frustrating when we encounter group dynamics challenges. 

But it doesn't have to be frustrating because it's a part of the way humans engage. How we view challenges can often make or break our ability to lead a group. When we lead for liberation, we ultimately improve the experience for ourselves and everyone else. I'll let you know what I mean. As leaders, people often fit into one of two camps. Either they are a leader who is always looking for the learning opportunities that exist in challenges and conflicts so that they can support positive change, or they are working to prove that they are right and have all the correct answers. If you're the former, you're already on the right path. However, if you are the latter, I want to explain why that makes it increasingly difficult to move the needle toward improving things. 

People are typically looking for a handful of things in their lives and work. People want approval. All humans want to believe they are doing the "right" thing. People want security. They want to feel safe and secure so they can focus their energy on things that bring themselves and their community value. People also want control. And it doesn't have to be a bad thing. This doesn't mean people necessarily want control of others. Sure, some do. But most just want to control themselves. 

The leader who seeks to prove they are right will only create more rifts in their team, and people may turn elsewhere to find a community where these needs are met. The curious leader who seeks to learn meets these needs for approval, security, and control because they turn into a helper rather than a solver. But what's the difference? A helper seeks to learn about the issue, and helping without taking control also shows others that you believe they are capable and responsible. A solver already knows, and doing something for someone takes away control. Now, there are times when solving problems is the way to go, but when it comes to people's challenges, it can be done a better way. When people face challenges, we meet them where they are, hear them out, validate their experience, and offer support. 

Let's look at it another way. Imagine you have a new colleague, and they can't seem to figure out how to print to the computer from their laptop. If you swoop in to solve that issue by clicking on their systems folder and adding that printer, that's a win. It does't take a lot of digging to realize that the reason the printer wasn't printing was because it wasn't installed, so even if they come across an issue like that again, they likely now have one more tool to examine for a fix. Easy-peasy. There aren't typically emotions related to a tech issue, and by solving that problem, they can actually get back to doing whatever work was halted by that issue. 

But what if that new colleague comes to you and says that their new work partner isn't working collaboratively with them and they feel they aren't being respected? What if you solve that? You could just move them to a new team. Would that solve the issue? What if they come across the same issue in the new group? Are you ready to keep moving them until there are no more groups to match with? Do you know why they weren't working collaboratively? Do you know what it means for them to feel respected? That is more of an adaptive challenge, where the work is about helping them to solve that relationship challenge so that they have the tools to navigate future issues. 

Because we come across issues like this often as leaders, our approach can either set the stage for a flourishing environment where people feel liberated, capable, and secure or set them up to feel unimportant, without agency, and lacking the skill to succeed. 

Here are some tips to incorporate into your leadership to move your team toward feeling more liberated. 

1. Examine yourself and your goal when approaching challenges. Are you seeking to learn and help or be right and solve? Lean into learning.

2. If someone approaches you with challenges (or if you notice them on your own) don't resist their emotions. Lean into them. It's easy to resist the big emotions that come with someone who is having difficulties. Resist the urge to resist!

3. Listen to understand the issue. Ask questions to clarify and validate feelings about what is being said.

4. Don't stop listening until the person is calm. Some time ago, I learned from a facilitator that "Emotional people tell. Calm people ask." When they are done telling, you can move on to the next steps. 

5. Make sure that you are leading to an end where they have autonomy by asking questions like "What outcome would be ideal for you?" "What feels like a good next step for you?" "What would happen if you didn't take action?" You have to give people choices so they feel agency. 

6. Make sure to follow up and discuss how things went at a later time. Remember, this is their challenge, and your work as a leader is to help people grow. And people grow at their own pace. 

Leading for liberation isn't about making everything perfect. There are still going to be hills to climb. Leading for liberation is about creating spaces where everyone feels capable, secure, and has the agency they seek. When people's needs are met, they have the freedom to focus on great work and create these same spaces for children and families. I invite you to lean into leading for liberation. Let's make our table bigger and invite everyone we can to sit with us. The outcome for children is worth it. 

With gratitude, 

Hannah